janab93

<3 <3 Jana <3 <3

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Letter to Myself by janab93, literature

Literature

Letter to Myself

Dear me, I'm sorry that I gave in so easy. That I let myself stoop to the level of "easy". And I'm sorry that I'd rather beg and plead than to see him leave. That I'd sacrifice what's left of my sanity for him. And I know that it's hard when, he looks at us. Like we matter more, than the little girlfriend that he loves and adores. I know it's hard, but we feel like we own something. We got seniority on that little thing. Also, don't get me wrong, but he's recently got me questioning... Why are all of his girlfriends so skinny, when all his fuck-arounds are so curvy? Take the sign, get the hint, girls like us won't l

Just Lines by janab93, literature

Literature

Just Lines

Crossing lines to where? I don't know. It's like I'm moving but I don't know how fast or far I'll go. All I see is that what I know is changing to what I knew. And morals mean everything but lines are just so tempting. Lead me not to safety, I'll lead myself my own way. Crossing lines is my specialty and since I'm just so tempting, I'll show you everything. But don't think I'm letting you in, you're the line and I'm just stepping over it. So yes my motives tend to switch. I go from sweetness to crazy bitch. And I'll show you that life ain't what it seems, and hearts can be easily seamed with the right thread. Honesty is

No Modern Medusa by janab93, literature

Literature

No Modern Medusa

Even if you have a heart of gold everything I touch turns to stone. And I feel alone because I don't mean to do it. I don't mean to break em. I don't mean any of it. And sometimes I don't even know what happens. A sudden flip, and everything switched and I'm stuck trying my hardest to flip it all back. Even people who have hearts of gold, don't stand a chance once I have a hold on them and their hearts. I feel like a girl alone in the dark because I turned someone cold and made them want to leave me alone. I don't get why my touch means stone. I am no modern Medusa, my hair is naturally itself, no snakes stem from my b

Free Fall by janab93, literature

Literature

Free Fall

I think I've wrote enough about your happy ass. I figured out what's wrong, and what is the past. I'm sorry for confusing and switching up this lyrics. Sorry that I can't stick with one feeling. But what can I say, you got me in a mess. I brought myself to this page and I can't go back. I'm writing every second of this untitled story. And for one second I'm alright, and then for a minute it's gory. We rip eachothers hearts out just for the glory. But then we sew it all up and kiss whats left. Pretend it never happened, then we stand up and laugh. We go on to this poor attempt at a future, while we attempt to defy the

Baby Voice by janab93, literature

Literature

Baby Voice

"Your turn to read a poem." I know the childlike voice you get when you are denied of what you want. I heard the baby like "bye" when my patience was gone, and I didn't pay attention but I wish I held on. Cuz I know how you get. It was difficult, that conversation, but I won't forget it because of that goodbye. If it wasn't for that simple drop of tone, loss of voice, saddened whisper of a child's goodbye, I would force myself to never remember my last attempt to try. That was my last true attempt to try to fix things. We could have been friends, but now that little voice replays in my head... "Bye..." I tell myself

With Everything by janab93, literature

Literature

With Everything

Stuck on the page are the words I wanna say. I feel like the lines, that are pre-arranged. I have no sympathy for your lack of empathy. I can no longer pretend that what you say and what you lack is what I can live with but it's a simple fact. You're the one who understands, but you're the one who I don't understand. I have no patience for this life you lead. So watch me leave to happy simplicity. This isn't a love poem, this isn't a heartbreak song. It's only the lies that are coming undone. It's been too long that I've held this in. My writing has been simplified in my mind and I've been unable to write all of this.

Surprising Ending? by janab93, literature

Literature

Surprising Ending?

It's surprising. That when moments intertwine, and I lose track of time... I still can't find my getaway. Home now, the time was set back, I'm a ways back to where I wanted to be. It's like I can't be content wherever I am. It's like every failed attempt is a checkmark box missed on life goals. It's like I can't make sense of it... but. It's typical nowadays. To be emotional. And I'm no emo but I am emotional. Can't see marks on my skin, but who says there needs to be cuts in order to know I feel pain? I'm your typical teenager. Happy one second, sad the next... and I wanna change that. Cuz THAT makes me depressed.

I'll Find A Way by janab93, literature

Literature

I'll Find A Way

You make it to where it is difficult, it's difficult don't you see? It's to the point where things have just gone too far beyond belief. And I cling onto things, I never expected to change. I cling onto things, that bring me back again. Again. And I know that I'll hurt myself, putting myself through such a wreck, but as past becomes future, I can't feel any regret. Oh, I know... I know... it might kill me in the end. But I wanna try to see the bright side, of a truly lived life. But then I feel things moving, blood changing inside, shifting thoughts I.. I had undermined. I didn't mind how you were. I didn't

Rainbows Can't Be In Closets by janab93, literature

Literature

Rainbows Can't Be In Closets

This is for the ones' I know and the ones' I don't. Here's to the people who suffer day to day. To the girls stuck in gender generalized clothing. Not knowing or knowing that men aren't the ones they desire to hold and this is to the guys who get shit on day by day. Again hidden in gender generalized clothing, or just saying that they are flamboyant and colorful. This is for the rainbows that people hide. When really rainbows are such a pretty sight. Closets are too dark and shouldn't contain such a light. So they call you dyke faggot homo lesbo tranny... just. Gay. Goddamn that hurts ME just to say aloud. I c

Consolations Has Limitations by janab93, literature

Literature

Consolations Has Limitations

You can never know true delicacy till you hold it in your arms. You never know innocence till you feel it in another persons' hands. I never understood the frailty of a mind till I tried putting hers together while she was falling apart in my arms. I'm afraid to hold her closer cuz I might break her even more.Wiping tears from her eyes, running my fingers through her hair, I felt her jaw tremble... and it hurt me cuz consoling has a limit when it comes to memories racking a brain. There's only so much a person can do, when another falls to pieces. I honestly felt like I was holding a hurt bird, the way I've seen her sh

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Letter to Myself by janab93, literature

Literature

Letter to Myself

Just Lines by janab93, literature

Literature

Just Lines

No Modern Medusa by janab93, literature

Literature

No Modern Medusa

Free Fall by janab93, literature

Literature

Free Fall

Baby Voice by janab93, literature

Literature

Baby Voice

With Everything by janab93, literature

Literature

With Everything

Surprising Ending? by janab93, literature

Literature

Surprising Ending?

I'll Find A Way by janab93, literature

Literature

I'll Find A Way

Rainbows Can't Be In Closets by janab93, literature

Literature

Rainbows Can't Be In Closets

Consolations Has Limitations by janab93, literature

Literature

Consolations Has Limitations

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Rainbows Can't Be In Closets by janab93, literature

Literature

Rainbows Can't Be In Closets

janab93

About janab93

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Artist // Literature

Apr 14
United States
Deviant for 15 years
She / Her

Badges

My Bio

K.
Some things about me...hmm.
I love poetry. Listening, writing, performing.
Especially performing. :)
I love spoken word poetry. It is my life. :D

I love graphic design as well. :)
I like photography in general, mostly editorial fashion shots.
Which I havent been able to do...lol. yet. xD

I'm really fun, and really open-minded. :)
Uhh...wanna know more? i guess note/comment meeeez. :D <3

Current Residence: In a cold cold version of hell? lmao. jk
deviantWEAR sizing preference: ......
Print preference: ......
Favourite genre of music: I like everything except most country. haha.
Favourite photographer: Hmmm..........don't know. lol.
Favourite style of art: Every. :)
Operating System: ......
MP3 player of choice: I pod Nano FTW
Shell of choice: wait what? shell? like sea shell? lol lol
Wallpaper of choice: fun kinds? lol
Skin of choice: Apparently Default. :/ lol
Favourite cartoon character: Courage the cowardly dog is my hero. lmfao.
Personal Quote: When bad things happen, it only leaves more room for GOOD to happen.

Favourite Visual Artist

Hmm. I don't remember.

Favourite Movies

I'm a movie freak, there are sooo many of them lol

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

See answer below, and you will understand why I cannot choose! lol

Favourite Writers

Philippa Gregory. and I've heard a lot of good poets in the past 2 years. :)

Favourite Games

COD, Car games, wiiiiiiiiiiii games. lmfao

Favourite Gaming Platform

PS3, wiiiiiiiiiii lol, gameboy!!!

Tools of the Trade

:P depends.

Other Interests

Poetry. Photography. Friends. Family.

Posts

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janab93

Jun 26, 2010

mmmmmm

0 min read

Ugh, so bored. lol. its like 2 am. almost 3 here. (I'm in serbia at the moment lol) Cant sleep. Don't wanna sleep as well...that may be a factor in the sleeping issye haha. As for me, myself and I, I havent had a lot of deviations lately. And i feel terrible lol. I cant write poems as much as i used to, cuz i am overly busy. lol. but I have taken some photo's and ill try to get em up as much as i can. :) Critique me people. i need thatttt. :D mwah. note, comment, fav, meeez.

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janab93

Apr 11, 2010

Oh my geee.

0 min read

woooww...it's been a loong time since I posted a journal. like. Since Valentines day. WELL. Nothing uber important for ya'll to know.... :) BUT i am taking requests of two kinds. Poem request: Gimme prompt, I shall write it. Picture request: Want me to edit a pic of yours? SURE! :) lol. I'm rather bored guys...so help me. <3 lol I love you!

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janab93

Feb 6, 2010

Valentines Day

0 min read

Ah yes. Valentine's day is coming up. Last time I really celebrated it was back in...4th grade when Devon (this adorable little boy who had a crush on me) gave me a teddy bear and a box of candies. :) Since then, I haven't celebrated it. With friends yeah, vday cards for them. I just never seemed to have a guy on vday. Of course now there's those petty little crushes...but they don't rele add up to much. :D In my mind...valentines day is overrated. Cute. yes. Romantic. sometimes. Overrated. Very. Idk, that's just how i view it. :) Maybe one day some guy will change that for me. Till then, I like being slightly cynical about it. haha.

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Profile Comments 4.1K

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Lizardhead4

Apr 19, 2012

I havent been on in forever and im rereading lots of your comments on my page and i gotta say i really appreciate it still and you are as beautiful as ever i hope to see DA posts from you again ^.^